|Sam & Gabe after the AWANA Gran Prix, 3/24/2012|
“I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.”
“At least if I expect everything to go wrong, I’ll be pleasantly surprised if it doesn’t.”
Does this sound like you? I know I’ve spoken this way for at least 17 years. I wasn’t always so negative. My own memory may be incorrect (my brother will tell you it is), but I remember being more of a dreamer as a child. I don’t recall having many negative thoughts. Of course, life was easy back then.
After I left home, things became more difficult, and I spent several years developing my negativity. Almost half my life I’ve been virtually paralyzed because I almost dared not dream, knowing that I’d just have to come back down to earth. I became a detail-oriented perfectionist, so I couldn’t start anything without seeing all the possible failures. A number of disappointments led me to create a defense mechanism: if I started off disappointed, at least I wouldn’t be let down by failure.
This is why Bonnie knew that last summer’s rapid revelation-decision-action process was from God; there was no way I could have overcome my “realism” to make such a huge life change on my own.
What has changed? I finally made Jesus the Lord of my life. I use the term “Lord” in reference to “whom I chose to obey.”
Face it, we all obey somebody. Most of us obey only ourselves, but we have no idea how to run our own lives because we’re corrupted by our past and completely ignorant of our future. Others follow a teacher, a leader, or a religion. The problem is, those teachers and leaders are also corrupted by their pasts, and ignorant of their futures; and religions are founded by leaders and teachers, and added to or altered by other leaders and teachers.
There’s only One who’s got it all figured out. I’m going to be submitted to someone - either my own imperfect ego, or someone else’s - or I’m going to be submitted to The One.