Thursday, September 29, 2011

Faith and Feelings

2 Corinthians 5:6-8

New International Version (NIV)
" 6 Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. 7 For we live by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord."

Picking blackberries on the airport
So here we are in Eatonville, Washington, finally "settling in" a little. We arrived three weeks ago,and today we are finally signing the lease on our townhouse! Our new friends Dan and Jeannie Mulkey, who run Trinity Aviation Academy, have graciously let us stay with them while we've searched and waited on the Lord to find us a temporary dwelling here :-). Staying in their cozy basement and cooking in Jeannie's wonderful kitchen and just having a "home" these last few weeks has been a blessing beyond what I could have imagined or asked for.

Basement camping at its finest!

We've settled into something of a schedule; Gabe gets up and heads across the yard to the hangar/classrooms for prayer and pilot/mechanic training, the kids and I roll out of bed a little later :-), get breakfast and do home school. We're all done with school by early afternoon so have time to run errands. Then we eat dinner with the Mulkeys, taking turns with the cooking, followed by a lap or two around the runway to work off all the delicious food, and settle in for a peaceful evening. Mostly.

We're also starting to get to know the community; Sammy started Cub Scouts and loves it, I found a midwife who I think will be a good fit for us, and we're trying out churches to see where we're called to serve. I'm anxious to see what the local Mom's Club is all about and meet some local moms. We also checked out the Puyallup Fair with our friends Tad and Hope Henry, missionaries serving here at the school with YWAM. Lots of fun!

It's still an adjustment. The kids and I particularly miss our friends in Tucson and at Calvary Chapel Christian School. It's cold and sometimes rainy and I didn't leave enough warm clothes out in the packing frenzy(silly Arizonans!). No one seems to mind though. It's also green and dazzlingly beautiful when the sun comes out with stunning views of nearby Mt. Rainier.

Berry Booty
I look at all the blessings around us, how our needs are met above and beyond every day and wonder, what was I so worried about? You see, I have a confession to make. I didn't want to come here. Every emotion and feeling in me fought against it from the day Gabe quit his job to the day we arrived. I cried almost every day. I prayed and sought the Lord, found temporary peace, and then was overwhelmed again with grief and loss for all we were leaving behind. A strong church with excellent Bible teaching. A wonderful Christian school for the kids. Amazing friends. Financial security. Health insurance. A house I loved in a neighborhood I loved. A good life. But....

I couldn't deny the call out of all that. I couldn't deny the call on Gabe's heart to missions and as hard as I tried to deny the call on mine because of my emotions, it was there. In the rare moments I could set my feelings aside and return to what I knew to be true, that this was how Jesus was calling us to "pick up our cross daily and follow Him", I had peace. Of course, the part that I didn't understand was how that was supposed to be "an easy yoke and a light burden" at the same time. It didn't feel easy. Leaving all that He had given us in Tucson behind was incredibly hard.

Then today I read this in "Streams in the Desert" by L.B. Cowman:
"By faith, not by appearance; God never wants us to look at our feelings. Self may want us to; and Satan may want us to. But God wants us to face facts, not feelings; the facts of Christ and of His finished and perfect work for us."

"When we face these precious facts and believe them because God says they are facts, God will take care of our feelings."

Wow. Why didn't I find this six weeks ago when I was freaking out? Probably because I would have missed the truth that He has now enabled me to see so clearly. And as I look back on the rough time it was getting here, I can also see His faithfulness and His grace. I was never alone. He gave Gabe an amazing amount of strength to carry us into this walking by faith and to carry me when I was weak. God is faithful, no matter what our feelings.

Be Blessed :-)

View from our new backyard

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